Death, Grief and Comfort

Denial and Acceptance

Surviving the loss of a love is one of life's hardest trials. It is well known that the process of grief survival involves going through the initial shock, then coping with denial, anger, depression and finally arriving at some sort of acceptance. Each one of these stages of emotional turmoil varies in length of time and intensity from months up to years. Losing someone with whom we had a deep bond can bring such despair that it feels as though we are in a bottomless pit where escape is impossible because death seems so final.
In Western society, the belief in the finality of death is an obstacle to healing. We have a dynamic culture where the possibility of our loss of personhood is unthinkable. The dynamics of death in a loving family is akin to a successful stage play that is thrown into disarray due to the loss of one of its stars. The supporting cast flounders around over the need for script changes. Dealing with this huge hole in the story left by the departed affects the future roles of the remaining players. There is a dichotomy here because when souls are in the spirit world preparing for a new life, they laugh about being in rehearsals for their next big stage play on Earth. They know all roles are temporary.
Therapeutic Techniques of Souls
My opening case is that of an advanced soul named Tammano who is in training to be a student guide. He said to me, "I have been incarnating and dying on Earth for thousands of years and only in the last few centuries am I really getting the hang of how to alter negative thought patterns and calm people." This case begins at the point in our session where Tammano is describing the moments following his sudden death after a former life.
Case 1
S (Subject): My wife is not feeling my presence. I'm just not getting through to her at all right now.

Dr. N: What is the matter?

S: Too much grief. It is so overpowering. Alice is in such a state of shock over my being killed that she is too numb to feel my energy.
Dr. N: Tammano, has this been a recurring problem for you after your former lives, or is it just Alice?

S: Right after death the people who love you are either very agitated or completely numb. In either situation their minds can shut down. My task is to attempt a balancing of mind and body.

Dr. N: Where is your soul at this moment?

S: On the ceiling of our bedroom.

Dr. N: What do you want her to do?

S: Stop crying and focus her thoughts. She doesn't believe I could still be alive so all her energy patterns are in a terrible tangled mass. It's so frustrating. I'm right next to her and she doesn't know it!

Dr. N: Are you going to give up for the moment and leave for the spirit world because her mind is closed down?

S: That would be the easy way for me but not for her. I care for her too much to give up now. I won't go until she at least senses that someone is in this room with her. That is my first step. Then I will be able to do more.

Dr. N: How long has it been since your death?

S: A couple of days. The funeral is over and that is when I settle down to try and comfort Alice.

Dr. N: I suppose your own guide is waiting to escort you home?

S: (laughs) I have informed my guide Eaan that she would have to wait for me a while ... which was unnecessary. She knows about all this-Eaan was the one who taught me!

I have condensed this client's narrative of how he assisted Alice in her grief recovery in order to focus on the soothing effects of soul energy patterns on disrupted human energy.
Dr. N: Tammano, I would appreciate your taking me through the techniques you use to help your wife Alice with her grief.

S: Well, I'll start by telling you Alice has not lost me. (takes a deep breath) began by throwing out a shower of my energy as an umbrella from Alice's waist to her head.

Dr. N: If I were a spirit standing next to you, what would this look like?

S: (smiles) A cloud of cotton candy.

Dr. N: What does this do?

S: It gives Alice a blanket of mental warmth which is calming. I must tell you I'm not fully proficient with this cloaking yet, but I have placed a protective cloud of energy over Alice the past three days since my death to make her more receptive.

Dr. N: Oh, I see, you have already begun your work with Alice. Okay, Tammano, what do you do now?

S: I begin to filter certain aspects of myself through the cloud of energy around her until I can feel the point where there is the least amount of blockage, (pause) I find it on the left side of her head behind her ear.

Dr. N: Does this spot have some significance?

S: Alice used to love to have me kiss her ears, (memories of caressing points are meaningful) When I see the opening on the left side of her head I convert my energy to a solid beam and train it on that place.

Dr. N: Does your wife feel this right away?

S: Alice is aware of a gentle touch in the beginning but the awareness is fragmented by grief. Then I increase the power of my beam - sending her thoughts of love.

Dr. N: Do you see this working?

S: (happily) Yes, I detect new energy patterns that are no longer dark coming from Alice. There are shifts in her emotions ... her crying stops ... she is looking around ... sensing me. She smiles. Now, I've got her.

Dr. N: Are you finished?

S: She is going to be all right. It's time for me to go. I'll watch over her, but I know she is going to make it through this-and that's good because I'm going to be busy myself for a while.

Dr. N: Does this mean you won't contact Alice further?

S: (offended) Certainly not! I will remain in contact whenever she needs me. She is my love.

Most souls I work with perform rather well from the spirit world on a physical body. Typically, they choose to work in concentrated areas using the beam effect described by Tammano. These loving energy projections can be very potent, even from the inexperienced soul, to people who have sustained emotional and physical trauma.

Ways Spirits Connect with the Living

Somatic Touch

I have taken the clinical terms of "somatic bridging" and "therapeutic touch" and combined them to describe the method by which discarnate souls use directed energy beams to touch various parts of an incarnated body.

Healing involves the subtle touching of body organs while eliciting certain emotional reactions which can include the use of the senses. Skilfully applied energy beams can evoke recognition by sight, sound, taste and smell. The whole idea with recognition is to convince the person grieving that the individual they love is still alive.
The next case is an example of a forty-nine-year-old man who had died of cancer. While the soul of this man does not demonstrate much skill, his intentions are good.

Case 2
Dr. N: What technique do you use to reach out to your wife?

S: Oh, my old standby-the centre of the chest.

Dr. N: Where exactly on the chest?

S: I direct my energy beam right at the heart. If I'm a little off, it doesn't matter.

Dr. N: And why is this method successful for you?

S: I am on the ceiling and she is bent over, crying. My first shot causes her to straighten up. She sighs deeply and senses something and looks upward. Then I use my scatter technique.
Dr. N: What is that?

S: (smiles) Oh, you know, throwing energy in all directions from a central point on the ceiling. Usually one of those bolts reaches the right place-the head-anywhere.

Dr. N: But what determines the right place?

S: That which is not blocked by negative energy, of course.

Compare the difference between case 2 and the next client who carefully spreads her energy in a focused area as if she was applying icing on a cake.

Case 3
Dr. N: Please describe the manner in which you are going to help your husband with your energy.

S: I'm going to work the base of the head just above the spine. God, Kevin is suffering so much. I just won't leave until he feels better.

Dr. N: Why this particular spot?

S: Because I know he enjoyed having the back of his neck rubbed by me, so it is an area where he is more receptive to my vibrational imprint. Then I play this area as if I was doing body massage - which I am, actually.

Dr. N: Play the area?

S: (my subject giggles and holds her hand out in front of her, opening up five fingers wide) Yes, I spread my energy and resonate myself by touch. Then, I use both hands cupped around each side of Kevin's head for maximum effect.

Dr. N: Does he know it is you?

S: (with a wicked smile) Oh, he realizes it must be me all right. No one else can do what I do to him and it only takes me a minute.

Dr. N: Isn't he going to miss this after you return to the spirit world?

S: I thought you knew about such things. I can come back whenever he really gets down in the dumps and yearns for me.

Dr. N: Just asking. I don't mean to be insensitive, but what if Kevin eventually meets another woman in this life?

S: I'll be delighted if he finds happiness again. That is a testimony as to how good we were together. Our life with each other-every scene-is never lost, and can be recaptured and played again in the spirit world.

Just about the time I think I am getting a complete grasp of soul capabilities and their limitations, a client will come along to dispel these faulty notions. For a long while I told people that all souls seemed to have difficulties getting past the uncontrolled sobs of the grieving before they could go to work with healing energy. Here is a short quote from a level III whose tactical approach during the peak of the grief process proved me wrong:
"I am not delayed by people who are crying hard. My technique is to coordinate my vibrational resonance with the tonal variations of their vocal chords and then springboard to the brain. In this way I can align my energy to effect a more rapid melding of my essence with their body. Quite soon they stop crying without knowing why."

Personification with Objects
I have heard some fascinating stories about the use of familiar objects, such as with the man in my next case. Since husbands usually die ahead of their wives I do hear more about energy techniques from their perspective. This does not mean male-oriented souls are more proficient with healing because they get more practice at comforting. The soul in case 4 has been just as effective in former lives-as a woman who preceded her husband in death-as a husband in this life.

Case 4
Dr. N: What do you do if your efforts right after death are not having the desired results anywhere on the body?

S: When I found that my wife, Helen, was not receiving me by a direct approach, I finally resorted to working with a household familiar.

Dr. N: You mean with an animal-a cat or dog?

S: I have used them before, but no ... not this time. I decided to pick out some object of value to me that my wife would know was very personal ... I chose my ring.

At this point my subject explained to me that during this past life he always wore a large ring of Indian design with a raised turquoise stone in the centre. He and his wife often sat by the fire talking about their day. He had a habit of rubbing the stone while talking to Helen. His wife often kidded him about polishing the turquoise down to the metal base of the ring. Helen had once reminded him that she had noticed this nervous mannerism the night they met.

Dr. N: I think I understand about the ring, so what did you do with it as a spirit?

S: When I work with objects and people I have to wait until the scene is very tranquil. Three weeks after my death, Helen lit a fire and was looking into it with tears in her eyes. I began by wrapping my energy within the fire itself, using the fire as a conduit of warmth and elasticity.

Dr. N: Excuse my interruption, but what does "elasticity" mean?

S: It took me centuries to learn this. Elastic energy is fluid. To make my soul energy fluid requires intense concentration and practice because it must be thin and fleecy. The fire serves as a catalyst in this manoeuvre.

Dr. N: Which is just the opposite from a strong, narrow beam of energy?

S: Exactly. I can be very effective by rapidly shirting my energy from a fluid to a solid state and back again. The shifting is subtle but it awakens the human mind.

Note: Others have also told me this technique of energy shape shifting "tickles the human brain."

Dr. N: Interesting, please continue.

S: Helen was connecting with the fire and thus with me. For a moment the grief was less oppressive, and I moved straight into the top of her head. She felt my presence ... slightly. It was not enough. Then I began shifting my energy as I told you, from hard to soft in fork fashion.

Dr. N: What do you do when you "fork" energy?

S: I split it. While keeping a soft fluid energy on Helen's head to maintain contact, I fork a hard beam at the box which holds my ring in a table drawer. My intent is to open up a smooth pathway from her mind to the ring. This is why I am using a hard steady beam, to direct her to the ring.

Dr. N: What does Helen do next?

S: With my guidance, she slowly gets up without knowing why. She moves, as if sleepwalking, to the table and hesitates. Then she opens the drawer. Since my ring is in the box I continue to shift back and forth from her mind to the lid of the box. Helen opens it and takes out my ring, holding it in her left hand, (with a deep sigh) Then I know I have her!
Dr. N: Because ... ?

S: Because the ring still retains some of my energy. Don't you see? She is feeling my energy on both ends of the fork. This is a two-directional signal. Very effective.

Dr. N: Oh, I do see-then what do you do with Helen?

S: Now, I move into overdrive with a full-power bridge between myself standing on her right side and the ring on the left. She turns in my direction and smiles. Helen then kisses my ring and says, "Thanks, darling, I know you are with me now. I'll try and be more brave."

Light energy has some properties of electromagnetic force, and thus can work in mysterious ways with objects.

Dream Recognition
One of the primary ways the newly departed soul uses to reach people who love them is through the dream state. The grief that has overwhelmed the conscious mind is temporarily pushed out of a frontal position in our thoughts when we are asleep. Even if we are in a fitful state of sleep, the unconscious mind is now more open for reception. Unfortunately, the person who is grieving will all too often wake up from a dream that could have contained a message and allow it to slip away from memory without writing anything down. Either the images and symbols they saw while asleep didn't mean anything at the time, or the dream sequence was chalked off as wishful thinking if, for example, the dreamer saw themselves with the deceased.

Before proceeding further, I want to offer an assessment about the general nature of dreams. My professional experience with dreams stems from listening to subjects in hypnosis explain how-as discarnates-they use the dream state to reach the living. Spirits are very selective in their use of our dream sequences. I have come to the conclusion that most dreams are not profound.
In reviewing various texts about dreaming, I find even specialists in the field believe many dreams during the night are simply jumbled up absurdities caused by our circuits being on overload throughout the day. If the mind is venting during certain sleep cycles, then the nerve transmissions across our synaptic clefts are letting off steam to relax the brain.

I classify dreams in three ways and one of them is the cleaning house state. At times in the night many stray thoughts from the day are scrambled and swept out of the mind as gobbledygook. We can't make sense of it because there is none. On the other hand, we all know there is a more cognitive side to dreaming. I divide this state into two parts, problem solving and spiritual, with only a fine line between them. There are people who have been given a premonition about some future event as an outgrowth of dreams. Our state of mind may be altered by dreams.
One of the most stressful periods of our lives occurs during the period of mourning when the affections of someone we love are taken away from us-we think forever. About the only relief we get from oppressive grief is during sleep. We go to bed with anguish and wake up with the pain still there, yet there is enigma in between.
Some mornings bring us a better idea of the initial steps to take toward coping with our loss. Problem solving through dream sequences is a process of mental incubation which has been called procedural because images appear that teach us ways to move forward. Does this insight come from somewhere other than ourselves? If the dream spills over into the spirit mode, then the Dreamweavers have probably paid us a call as prompters to assist us through our emotional distress.
Spiritual dreams involve our guides, teaching souls and soulmates who come as messengers to assist us with solutions. We do not need to be grieving to receive help in this way. Into this spiritual dream mixture we also have memory recall of our experiences on other physical and mental worlds, including the spirit world.
How many of you have dreamed you could fly or swim easily underwater? Frequently, these kinds of dream sequences provide us with metaphoric clues which open the door to comparisons of former lives with our current one. Our immortal soul character does not change much between host bodies, so these comparisons are not all that bizarre. Some of our greatest revelations come from the episodic dreams of events, places and behavior patterns emanating from experiences before we acquired our present body.
Jung said, "Dreams embody suppressed wishes and fears but may also give expression to inescapable truths which are not illusions or wild fantasies." Sometimes these truths are couched in metaphoric puzzles and represented as archetypal images during our dreams. Dream symbols are culturally generalized and dream glossaries are not immune to this prejudice.
Each person should use their own intuition to delineate the meaning of a dream. A dream perception is often as real as an awake experience. How does a loving spirit go about helping you gain insight and acceptance of these things in your dreams?
Case 5
My subject in this case has just died of pneumonia in New York City in 1935. She was a young woman in her early thirties who came to New York after growing up in a small midwestern town. Sylvia's death was sudden and she wanted to provide some comfort to her widowed mother.

Dr. N: Do you leave immediately for the spirit world after death?

S: No, I do not. I must say goodbye to my mother so I want to stay around Earth for a while until she gets the news.

Dr. N: Is there anyone else you care to see before going to your mother?

S: (with hesitation, then in a husky voice) Yes ... I have an old boyfriend ... his name is Phil ... I go to his house first...

Dr. N: (gently) I see; were you in love with Phil?

S: (pause) Yes, but we never married ... I ... just want to touch him once more. I don't really make contact with him because he is sound asleep and not dreaming. I can't stay long because I want to reach my mother before she hears the news about me.

Dr. N: Aren't you being a little too rushed with Phil? Why don't you wait for a proper dream cycle and leave a message?

S: (firmly) Phil hasn't been part of my life for years. I gave myself to him when we were both young. He hardly thinks about me anymore ... and ... well ... to pick up on me through a dream ... he could miss the message anyway. My leaving traces of my energy is enough for now because we will be together again in the spirit world.

Dr. N: After leaving Phil, do you go to your mother?

S: Yes. I begin with more conventional thought communication while she is awake but I am getting nowhere. She is so sad. My mother's grief at not being at my bedside is overpowering her.

Dr. N: What methods have you tried so far?

S: I project my thoughts with an orange-yellow light, like the flame of a candle, and place my light around her head, sending loving thoughts. I'm not effective. She doesn't realize I am with her. I am going for a dream.

Dr. N: All right, Sylvia, take me through this slowly. Please start by telling me if you pick out one of your mother's dreams or if you can create one of your own.

S: I don't create dreams well yet. It is much easier for me to take one of hers so I can enter the dream to effect a more natural contact and then participate. I want her to know it is clearly me in the dream.

Dr. N: Fine, now take me through this process with you.

S: The first couple of dreams are unsuitable. One is a muddle of absurdity. Another is a past life fragment, but without me in it. Finally, she has a dream where she is walking alone in the fields around my house. You should know she has no grief in this dream. I am not dead yet.

Dr. N: What good is this dream, Sylvia, if you are not in it?

S: (laughing at me) Listen, aren't you seeing I'm going to smoothly place myself in the dream.

Dr. N: You can alter the sequence of the dream to include yourself?

S: Sure, I enter the dream from the other end of the field by matching my energy patterns to my mother's thoughts. I project an image of myself as I was the last time she saw me. I come slowly across the field to let her get used to my presence. I wave and smile and then come to her. We hug each other and now I send waves of rejuvenating energy into her sleeping body.

Dr. N: And what will this do for your mother?

S: This picture is raised to a higher level of consciousness for my mother. I want to insure the dream will stay with her after she wakes up.

Dr. N: How can you be sure she won't think this is all a projection of her desire for you and discount the dream as not being real?

S: The influence of a vivid dream like this is very great. When my mother wakes up, her mind has a vivid impression of this landscape with me and suspects I am with her. In time the memory is so real she is sure of it.

Dr. N: Sylvia, does the image of the dream move from the unconscious to a conscious reality because of your energy transfer?

S: Yes, it is a filtering process where I continue to send waves of energy into her over the next few days until she begins to accept my passing. I want her to believe I am still part of her and always will be.

Turning back to Phil's sleep state, it was evident Sylvia did not intend to stay long to manifest her feelings within his unconscious mind. Dreams do not appear to occur in the deep delta stages of brain-wave activity where there is no rapid eye movement. REM sleep, also known as paradoxical sleep, is a much lighter and therefore more active dream state occurring mostly in the early and late stages of sleep.

The Dreamweaver souls I have come in contact with all engage in dream implanting, with two prominent differences

1. Dream Alteration. Here a skillful discarnate enters the mind of a sleeper and partially alters an existing dream already in progress. This technique I would call one of interlineation, where spirits place themselves as actors between the lines of an unfolding play so the dreamer is not aware of script tampering with the sequences. This is what Sylvia was doing with her mother. She was waiting for the right sort of ongoing dream to enter and initiate a smooth fit. As difficult as this approach seems, it is evident to me the second procedure is more complex.
2. Dream Origination. In these cases the soul must create and fully implant a new dream from scratch and weave the tapestry of these images into a meaningful presentation to suit their purpose. Creating or altering scenes in the mind of a dreamer is intended to convey a message. I see as this an act of service and love. If the dream implantation is not performed skillfully to make the dream meaningful, the sleeper moves on and wakes up in the morning remembering only disjointed fragments or nothing at all about the dream.

To illustrate the therapeutic use of Dream Origination, I will cite the case of a level V subject whose name was Bud in his last life. Bud was killed in a 1942 battle during World War II. The case involves a dreamer called Walt, who was Bud's surviving brother. Bud is adept at dreamweaving, so after his battlefield death he returned home to the spirit world and made preparations for an effective method to comfort Walt.
This is one of those cases that gave me greater perspective of the subtle integration methods Dreamweaver Souls are able to use with sleeping people. During this condensed case, my subject will describe the dream techniques taught to him by his guide, Axinar.

Case 6
Dr. N: How do you plan to alleviate your brother's grief after returning to the spirit world?

S: Axinar has been working with me on an effective strategy. It's very delicate because we are with Walt's duplicate.

Dr. N: You mean that dual part of Walt's energy mass that remained behind during his incarnation to Earth?

S: Yes, Walt and I are in the same soul group. I begin by connecting myself to his divided nature here to more closely communicate with Walt's light on Earth.

Dr. N: Please explain this procedure.

S: I float next to the cache where his remaining energy is anchored and meld with it briefly. This allows for a perfect recording of Walt's energy imprint. There is already a telepathic bonding between us but I want to have a tighter vibrational alliance when I reach his bedside.

Dr. N: Why do you wish to carry an absolutely accurate print of Walt's energy pattern with you on your return to Earth?

S: For a stronger connection to the dreams I will create.

Dr. N: But why can't Walt's other half communicate with himself on Earth instead of you?

S: (sharply) This does not work well. It is nothing more than talking to oneself. There is no impact, especially during sleep. It's a washout.

Dr. N: All right, since Walt's exact energy print is with you, what happens when you go to his sleeping body?

S: He is tossing and turning at night and really suffering a lot over my being killed. Axinar trained me to work between dreams because he does these energy transfers so well himself.

Dr. N: You work between dreams?

S: Yes, so I can leave messages on either side of two different dreams and then link them for greater receptivity. Because I have Walt's exact energy imprint, I slip into his mind quite easily to deploy my energy. After my visit, a third dream about the first two unfolds as a delayed reaction and Walt sees us together again in an out-of-body setting, which he won't recognize as the spirit world but the activation of these inviting memories will sustain him.

Note: Some cultures, such as the Tibetan mystics, believe they do recognize the spirit world as an almost physical paradise to be a natural part of dreaming.

Dr. N: What were the dreams you created?

S: Walt was three years older, yet we played a lot together as boys. This changed when he was thirteen, not because we weren't still close as brothers, he just became attached to guys his own age and I was excluded. One day Walt and his friends were swinging on rope tied over the branch of a big tree high above a pond near our farm. I was nearby, watching. The other boys went first and were engaged in a water fight when Walt swung too high and hit his head hard on another branch and was almost knocked out as he fell into the water. They did not see him fall. I dove into the pond and held up his head screaming for help. Later, on the bank, Walt looked up at me with a dazed expression and said, "Thanks for saving me, Buddy."

I thought this act would admit me to their club but a few weeks afterwards Walt and his friends would not let me play a game of softball with them. I felt betrayed that Walt would not stand up for us. During the game the ball was hit into some bushes and they couldn't locate it. That evening I found their ball and hid it inside our barn. We were poor kids and this ruined their game for a while until one of the boys got another ball on his birthday.

Dr. N: Tell me the message you wanted to convey to Walt?

S: To show two things. I wanted my brother to see me crying and holding his bleeding head in my lap on the bank of the pond and remember what we said to each other after he stopped choking. The second dream about the softball game ended when I added a trailer to the dream and took him to the barn where the softball was still hidden. I told Walt I forgave him for every slight in our lives together. I want him to know I am always with him and the devotion we have for each other can't die. He will know this when he returns to the old barn to look for the ball.

Dr. N: Does Walt need to dream again about all this after your visit?

S: (laughs) It's not necessary as long as he recalled the location of the ball after he woke. Walt did remember what I had implanted. Going back to our old barn and finding the ball made the message come together. This gave Walt some serenity about my death.

Dream symbolism moves on many levels in the mind, some of which are abstract while others are emotional. The dreams of this case, involving experiential imagery, reinforced poignant memories of two brothers in a slice of recorded time. Future unification was pictured for Walt in a third, rather wispy dream of both souls happily together once again in the spirit world.
It took me quite a long while before I found an advanced subject apprenticed to a Dreammaster, a title I feel is appropriate for Axinar in case 6. As with any spiritual technique, some souls show more inclination than others toward acquiring advanced skills. In case 6, Bud not only originated a sequence of dreams in Walt's mind but then engaged in the more complex technique of linking them into a central theme of love and support for his brother. Finally, Bud provided physical evidence that he was there through the use of a hidden baseball. I take nothing away from Sylvia in case 5, because she was very effective entering her mother's dream to give her peace without disruption to the dreamer. It's just that case 6 demonstrated more spiritual artistry.

Transference Through Children
When souls have difficulty reaching the mind of a troubled adult they might resort to using children as conduits for their messages. Children are more receptive to spirits because they have not been conditioned to doubt or resist the supernatural. Frequently the young person chosen as a conduit is a family member of the departed. The next case is that of a man who died of a heart attack in his back yard at age forty-two.

Case 7
Dr. N: What do you do to comfort your wife at the moment of death?

S: At first I try to hug Irene with my energy but I don't have the hang of it yet. (subject is a level II ) I can relate to her sorrow but nothing I'm doing is working. I'm worried because I don't want to leave without saying goodbye.

Dr. N: Just relax now and move slowly forward. I want you to explain to me how you work through this dilemma.

S: I soon realize that I ought to be able to console Irene a little by reaching her through Sarah, our ten-year-old.

Dr. N: Why do you think Sarah might be receptive to you?

S: My daughter and I have a special bond. She also has great sorrow over my passing but much of this is mixed with fear over what happened to me so suddenly. Sarah doesn't comprehend it all yet. There are too many neighbors crowding around trying to sustain my wife. No one is paying much attention to Sarah, sitting alone in our bedroom.

Dr. N: Do you look upon this as an opportunity?

S: Yes, I do, in fact Sarah senses I am still alive and so she is more open to accepting my vibrations as I move into the bedroom.

Dr. N: Good-what happens next between you and your daughter?

S: (takes a deep breath) I've got it! Sarah is holding a set of her mother's knitting needles. I send warmth through them into her hands and she feels this right away. Then I use the needles as a springboard to reach her spine at the base of the neck and work around to her chin. (subject stops and begins laughing)

Dr. N: What is making you happy?

S: Sarah is giggling because I'm tickling her chin like I did before she went to sleep every night.

Dr. N: Now what do you do?

S: The crowd is breaking up and leaving because I have been taken out to the street and placed into an ambulance. Irene comes alone into the bedroom to get ready for a neighbor who will drive her to the hospital. She also wants to check on our daughter. Sarah looks up at my wife and says, "Mommy, you don't have to leave, Daddy is here with me-I know 'cause I can feel him tickling my chin!"

Dr. N: And then what does your wife do?

S: Irene is tearful but not crying as hard as before because she doesn't want to scare Sarah. So she hugs our daughter.

Dr. N: Irene does not want to indulge in what she believes to be Sarah's fantasy about your being with her?

S: Not yet-but I'm ready for Irene now. As soon as my wife holds our daughter I jump the gap between them, sending energy flowing over both. Irene feels me too, although not as much as Sarah. They sit down on the bed and hold on to each other with their eyes closed. For a while all three of us are alone together.
Dr. N: Do you feel you have accomplished what you set out to do on this day?

S: Yes, it's enough. It is time for me to leave and I pull back away from them and float out of the house. Then I am high over the countryside and sucked up into the sky. Soon I move into bright light, where my guide comes to meet me.
Contact in Familiar Settings

It may seem from the last case that once the departing soul has reached out and touched those who care about them, they go off to the spirit world without bothering to be near us again. There are people who don't feel a soul's presence right after death but will in the future. Survivors who have reached the acceptance stage in their grief process would find solace in knowing those they have loved are still watching over them. Yet there are those who never pick up anything.

Souls don't give up easily on us. Another way spirits touch people is through environmental settings associated with their memory. These contacts are effective to minds which may be closed to all other forms of spiritual communication. The following case illustrates this method. My subject, a woman called Nancy in her last life, died of a sudden stroke after thirty-eight years of marriage to Charles. Her husband was stuck between the denial and anger stages of grief and his emotions were so pent up that he could not accept help from their friends or seek outside professional counseling. As an engineer, his predominately analytical mind rejected any spiritual approach to his loss as being unscientific.

Nancy's soul had tried reaching her husband in several ways for months after the funeral. His stoic nature created such a wall around himself that Charles had not really cried since his wife's death. To overcome this obstacle, Nancy decided she could reach his inner mind through his sense of smell by connecting with an environmental setting familiar to both of them. The use of sense organs by souls complements communication with the subconscious mind. Nancy decided to use her garden, specifically a rose bush, to reach Charles.

Case 8
Dr. N: Why do you think Charles is going to react to your presence through a garden?

S: Because he knows I loved my garden. For him my plants were a take it or leave it situation. He knew it gave me pleasure but to Charles gardening was just a lot of hard work. Frankly, he helped very little in our yard. He was too busy with his mechanical projects.

Dr. N: He paid no attention, then, to your yard work?
S: Not unless I drew his attention to something. I had a favorite white rose bush by our front door and whenever I cut these flowers I would wave them in front of his nose and tell Charles that if this sweet scent did not affect him, then he had no romance in his soul. We used to laugh about this a lot because Charles was actually a tender lover but outwardly you would never know it. To avoid the issue, he would tease me by saying gruffly, "These are white roses, I like red."

Dr. N: So, how did you implement a plan with roses to let Charles know you are still alive and with him?

S: My rose bush died from lack of attention after my death. In fact, my whole yard was in bad shape because Charles was not functioning well at all. One weekend he was walking around the garden in a daze and came near some roses belonging to our next-door neighbor. He caught the smell. This is what I was aiting for and I moved quickly into his mind. He thought of me and looked at my dead rose bush.

Dr. N: You created an image of your rose bush in his mind?

S: (sighs) No, he would have missed that in the beginning. Charles understands tools. I started out by getting him to picture a shovel in his mind and digging. Then we made the transition to my rose bush and the garden center in town where it could be purchased. Charles pulled out his car keys.

Dr. N: You got him to walk to the car and then drive over to this nursery?

S: (grinning) It took persistence, but yes, I did.

Dr. N: Then what did you do?

S: At the nursery Charles wandered around for a bit until I was able to draw him to the roses. They were only red varieties, and that suited him. I was projecting a white color in his mind so he asked a clerk why there were no white roses. He was told red was all they had left in stock. Charles overrode my thoughts and bought a big pot of red roses, telling the clerk to deliver them to our house because he didn't want to get his car dirty.

Dr. N: What do "overriding thoughts" mean to you?

S: People under stress get impatient and fall back on established thought patterns. To Charles, the standard rose is red. That's his mindset. Since the store didn't have white roses at the moment, my husband would not deal with it further.

Dr. N: So, in a sense, Charles was blocking the conflicting images between his conscious thoughts and what you were projecting in his unconscious mind?

S: Yes, and also my husband is very mentally tired from my death.

Dr. N: Wouldn't red roses suit your purpose just as well?

S: (flatly) No. It was then I switched my energy to Sabine, the woman I knew who ran the store. She was at my funeral and was aware I loved white roses.

Dr. N: I don't think I know where this is going, Nancy. There were no white roses. Charles bought the red roses and then left for home. Wasn't this enough for you?

S: (laughing at me) You men! The white rose is me. The next morning Sabine personally drove to my house and delivered a big pot of white roses. She told my husband that she got them from another nursery and this is what I would have wanted. Then she left Charles standing bewildered in our driveway. He carried them over to the hole he had dug where my old rose bush had been and stopped. The roses were in his face. He smelled their fragrance-but what was more important, the wash of white was combined with the scent, (my subject pauses tearfully as she recreates this moment)

Dr. N: (in a low voice) You are making all this very clear-please go on.
S: Charles was ... feeling my presence at last ... I now spread my energy around his torso to include the roses in a symmetrical envelopment. I wanted him to smell the white roses and my essence filtering through the energy field together.

Dr. N: Was this effective?
S: (softly) Finally, he knelt down next to the hole, pressing the roses to his face. Charles broke down and sobbed for a long time while I held him. When it was over he knew I was with him still.

Spirits may prefer to communicate with us in the form of ideas. Here is a quote from a letter I received from a former client about his departed wife, Gwen. I believe our session together assisted in his discovery of the best way to receive his wife's thoughts:

"I have learned we don't all have equal abilities as souls to communicate with each other. Sending and receiving messages is a skill that needs to be refined with practice. I finally recognized the imprint of Gwen's thoughts after getting nothing during my meditations. She was a literary person who used word thoughts rather than pictures to generate feeling in me. I had to learn to integrate word flashes from her into my own manner of speaking- which she knows-in order to decipher what she was telling me. I see more clearly now how I can touch Gwen with my mind."
Strangers as Messengers

Case 9

Derek was a man in his sixties who came to see me from Canada to evaluate his life and try and resolve his greatest sadness. When he was a young man, he lost his beautiful four-year-old daughter, Julia. Her death was sudden, unexpected and so devastating that he and his wife decided to have no more children.

I placed Derek in deep hypnosis and took him to a scene following his last life where he appeared in front of his council. We then discovered that one of his major current life lessons was learning to cope with tragedy. Derek had been deficient in this area during his past two lives by falling apart and making life more difficult for family survivors who depended upon him. He is doing much better in his current life. What was especially interesting for me about this case was a single incident that happened to Derek some twenty years after Julia's death.
Derek had recently lost his wife to cancer and was in mourning. One day, feeling very despondent, he walked to a nearby amusement park. After a while he sat down on a bench near a carousel. Listening to the music, Derek watched the children happily going around in circles on colorful wooden animals. He saw from a distance one little girl who looked like Julia and tears flooded his eyes. Just then a young woman of about twenty appeared and asked if she could sit down next to him. It was a warm day. She was dressed in white muslin, holding a cold drink in her hand.
Derek nodded but said nothing while the woman enjoyed her drink and talked about growing up in England and coming to Canada because she was particularly attracted to Vancouver. She introduced herself as Heather and Derek noticed a glow of sunlight around her that gave the young woman a shining, angelic quality.

Time seemed to be suspended for Derek as the conversation turned to family and what Heather was going to do with her new life in Canada. Derek found himself talking to her as a father and the more they conversed, the more he felt he knew her. Finally, Heather stood up and placed her hand tenderly on Derek's shoulder. She smiled at him and said, "I know you are worried about me-please don't be. I'm all right and it's going to be a wonderful life. We will see each other again some day, I know."

Derek told me that as Heather walked away and gave him a final wave he saw his daughter and felt at peace. During our session, Derek recognized that the reincarnated soul of Julia had come to him and provided the assurance he had not really lost her. When we suffer the absence of people we love they may come to us in mysterious ways, often when our minds are detached in a shallow alpha state. Take these moments as messages from the other side and allow them to bring sustenance to you.

Angels or Other Heavenly Hosts

In recent years there has been a resurgence in the popularity of angels. Many clients initially think they see angels when I regress them into the spirit world, especially those with strong religious convictions. This reaction is similar to the devotional responses of some people who have had near-death experiences.
However, regardless of prior religious conditioning, my subjects soon realize the etheric beings they are visualizing in hypnosis represent their guides and soul companions who have come to meet them.
Our spiritual teachers have different styles and techniques, just as teachers on Earth. Their immortal character has been matched to our own essence in a variety of ways. The next two abbreviated cases illustrate my contention that personal guides and soulmates, however they are represented, contact us from the other side if we require consolation.

Case 10
The following statements come from Rene, a forty-year-old widow who lost her husband, Harry, three months before our appointment. I waited until after our session before asking her the series of questions that follow. My intent was to have Rene contrast the conscious versus superconscious imagery she had of her guide, Niath.

Dr. N: Before our session today, have you had any contact with the being you saw in hypnosis as Niath?

S: Yes, since Harry's death Niath has come to me during my dark hours.

Dr. N: Did Niath appear to be the same to you before and after this hypnosis session?

S: No, I didn't see her quite the same way. I ... thought she was an angel before and now I see Niath is my teacher.

Dr. N: Were her face and demeanor different to you while you were under hypnosis, compared to what you saw when awake?

S: (laughs) Today there were no wings or a halo, but bright light- that was the same-and her face and gentle manner were the same too. I also see that in our spirit group she can be ... sharply instructive.

Dr. N: More of a teacher and less of a grief counselor, you mean?

S: Yes, perhaps that's it. Right after Harry's death she was so sweet and understanding when she came to me ... (rushing on) that doesn't mean she isn't nice in the spirit world, just more ... exacting.

Dr. N: Did you do anything to summon Niath right after Harry's death?
S: I was crying for help after the funeral. I found out that I needed to be alone and very still ... to listen ...

Dr. N: Does this mean you heard Niath rather than actually saw her?

S: No, in the beginning I saw her floating over my head in my bedroom. I had my arms wrapped around a pillow pretending it was Harry, but I had stopped crying. She became fuzzy after I first saw her and I realized then I had to listen carefully for her voice. In the days that followed I heard Niath more than I saw her ... but I had to listen.
Dr. N: Does that mean concentrate?

S: Yes ... well, no ... more allowing my mind to go free from my body.

Dr. N: What happens when you don't listen properly but you want her messages?

S: Then she communicates with me through my feelings.

Dr. N: In what way?

S: Oh, I might be driving alone or out walking by myself, wondering about doing something-taking a certain action. She will make me feel good about it if I am supposed to do it-if it is right.

Dr. N: And what if the action you are considering would be wrong for you, then what?

S: Niath will make me feel uneasy about doing it. I will know in my gut it is a wrong move.

Finally, there are those angel-like spirits who regularly come to Earth between lives simply to help people they don't know who are in distress. They may be healers in training, as was true with the client who said to me:

"My guide and I assisted a boy in India who was drowning and consumed by fear. His parents pulled him from the river and were trying to resuscitate him, but he was not responding well. I placed my hands on his head to quiet his fear, sent a spike of energy into his heart to bring warmth into his body and superimposed his essence with mine for a moment to help him cough up the water and start breathing again. We were able to help a total of twenty-four people on that trip to Earth."

Emotional Recovery of Souls and Survivors
When a soul once again returns to a pure energy state in the spirit world, it no longer feels hate, anger, envy, jealousy and the like. Nevertheless, I have found two sorts of negative emotions that exist within souls, both of which involve a form of sadness. One of them I would call karmic guilt for making very poor choices, especially when others were hurt by these actions.

The other form of sadness for souls is not melancholy, dejection, or a mournful unhappiness in the way life has gone on without them since their departure. Rather, sadness in souls comes from a longing to reunite with the Source of their existence. I believe all souls, regardless of their level of development, have this longing to seek perfection for the same reason. The motivating factor for those souls who come to Earth is growth. Thus, the trace of sadness I discern in souls is the absence of elements in their immortal character that they must find to make their energy complete. And so it is a soul's destiny to search for truth in their experiences in order to gain wisdom.

Since souls lose so many negative emotions upon reentering the spirit world, it follows that their positive affections also undergo alterations. For instance, souls feel great love but this love places no conditions upon others for reciprocity because it is given freely. Souls display a universal coherence with each other that is so absolute it is incomprehensible on Earth. This is one reason why souls appear to be both abstract and empathetic to us at the same time.

Previous Home
Main menu